another random mumbling..

i know my day counting is going horribly weird bt thn who cares? having all kinds of experieces now a days, n cant say they are my better ones.. started reading Fountainhead and weirdly, am trying to interpret it too.. i dont know why i am writing this blog now, since apparently neither am i pissed, nor happy.. but its just one of those times when you feel like running away because you know something is wrong,and weirdly you just cant pinpoint what is wrong? its one of those times when everything seems to hit rock bottom, and you just dont know where to run to.. or more importantly where to hide.. or do i have to hide? am all confused.. but again, is it something new? NO.. not with me atleast.. somehow everything is hazy in my mind... and i cant relate to anything... i cant find my peace of mind.. and this is just adding to all the confusion and chaos! for once i dont know what should i do to make this all right.. and i dont even know if i can make all this right? and more importantly i dont even know if all this canbe made right?? i want to get numb again.. i think the feeling i am trying to resit from a long long time is my only survival trick.. somehow its not good to be unnatural.. n being numb comes naturally to me..think should become numb again.. "then to hell with this world and all its people.. for i have become ... comfortably numb!"