and i run..

i have started running a lot these days.. may be its just the fact that everyone in second year wants to get back to shape (back? am not that sure!) or realise its the last time they have before they get into the hectic corporate life.. whatever the reason, this one is not for me.. for one even though some people call me fat (yes they do!) i dont think i am that fat because medically i am still undersweight! and i havent joined gym or anything to get back into shape or lets say in my case get into some shape for the starters.. i just run.. and i dont have any reason to run! not the getting back into shape and/or getting fit reasons! i just run! at times i wonder if i am running just because i want to run away from everything happening around me and am not that brave (or coward? am not sure) enough to do it! its happens a lot of times when you are waiting for something and it tends to be an anticlimax.. which could have been possible since we all waited for second year like mad!! but never in my life had i thought would my time back from internship would be so sad! i was waiting for this time for so long and now when i am looking at the of kalaiedescope of my life right now, i am shocked at not being able to even find even thing going even ok with me.. looks like am screwed from all sides! if they say there is a nadir, i think (and in many more ways hope!!) this is of my life.. getting screwed from every side and i have no where to run! seems thats one reason i am running so much till i drop dead! and in a very weird way, there too i run in circles to get back to the same point where i had started with! wondering if its a normal thing or is it an indication.. i run from something and i wonder what i am running from.. but i dont know why just that pain and exhaustion gives me pleasure.. may sound freakish but weirdly true!!

some lines from Floyd just sums it..

And you run, and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

i dont whr i am heading but i still run ....